Chibification and Other Acts of Insanity
by Sarryn
Summary: A random story, not really, involving Chibi Collars and the cast of Escaflowne, as well as a self-insert. Introducing the Evil One! Who will join and stop his evil evilness? Perhaps you?
1. I'll Default Your Chapter

This is random insanity on my part with no real plot. This is also a revenge, of sorts, against someone who has been bothering me incessantly about a certain other story. I do not own the characters in this, including, but not excluded to, the cast of Escaflowne and other anime characters and Deus, but I do own my own made-up characters. This probably isn't an original idea, but hey, I had fun and if you don't...well, I guess we can't all be completely deranged. *smile*  
  
Oh yeah, this has no plot whatsoever. Just thought I'd warn people again. Oh, and don't forget to review! Reviews just make me so happy!  
  
  
Chibification and Other Acts of Insanity  
  
  
Things were peaceful and unremarkable in the void where all anime characters go when no one is currently using them for something. The sky and ground were the same pale lavender color and yet neither were what they had been so named.  
  
"That's so disturbing," the Goddess of Oblivion commented as she watched the couple. Of course one person was not quite as willing as the other.  
  
"Unfair," the Phoenix Guardian pouted, crossing her arms in anger. Sarryn giggled and wrapped her arms more tightly around the struggling weight in her arms.   
  
"He's so cute," she laughed cuddling the chibi-Dilandau who was struggling impotently against her. The Goddess sighed and slowly faded from sight, going off to search for an alternative form of entertainment.   
  
Chibi-Dilandau was cursing quite vividly, in an incredibly cute chibi voice, and pulled at the gold circlet around his neck. It was a golden collar inscribed with strange and ancient runes: a Chibi Collar to chibify any anime character every created and anything and everything else.  
  
"But he's mine," the Phoenix Guardian cried as flames erupted around her feet. Sarryn smiled serenely and stroked Dilandau's silver hair while he tried to bite her, chibi feet kicking.  
  
"Hello there," came a booming voice from all around the void.  
  
"Who's there?" Sarryn inquired with curiosity.   
  
"This is god talking," the voice replied sternly.  
  
"Really?" Sarryn asked giving an extra squeeze to her new chibi.  
  
"No, not really," Deus remarked appearing in the anime void.   
  
"Oh, whatever," she sighed in disappointment and went back to cuddling. Deus raised an eyebrow and regarded her quizzically. He and the Phoenix Guardian shared a look as she cooed and giggled inanely while chibi-Dilly cursed and struggled.   
  
"Pi? Pikachu?" squeaked an inquisitive yellow, electric mouse. Sarryn's eyes got huge and starry as she turned to look at the creature.  
  
"Pikachu!" she shrieked ecstatically.   
  
"Die spawn of Satan!" Deus yelled and something materialized in his hand.   
  
"What's that?" she demanded, horror etched across her face. Pikachu cocked its head to the side and looked cute. Dilandau silently wished for his chibi-flame-thrower, but Sarryn had confiscated it when he had tried to light her hair. Fried mouse was a delicacy in some places.  
  
"It's my patented Pikachu hunting rifle," he replied as he took aim.   
  
"No!" she shrieked and lunged at him, white gown billowing around her. Time slowed down as she stretched her hand out to stop him. Slowly his finger pressed the trigger and she had no choice. In her hand a Chibi Collar shimmered into existence which she promptly fastened around his neck.   
  
Deus eeped in a high chibi-like voice and tried remove it, unfortunately for him the only person who could remove it was Sarryn. He glared balefully at her, but refrained from speaking considering he was considerably shorter. She waved cheerfully at the departing Pikachu and dematerialized the rifle. Violence was so overrated.   
  
"Now where was I?" she asked as she returned her attention to her chibi-Dilandau. Her face fell as she realized that in her attempt to save Pikachu she had inadvertently released her chibi. She looked around in search of Dilly only to find him and the Phoenix Guardian exploding and torching random things, other anime characters included.   
  
She was about to drag her Dilly away from her alter ego when the Fanel brothers wandered by discussing the dichotomy of good and evil. Her sparkling black eyes grew even more starry and wide than when she had seen Pikachu. Humming cheerfully she skipped after them, she had always wanted her own angels.   
  
"I was wondering," she began, smiling winsomely, "If having black wings makes you more hot."  
  
"What do you mean?" Folken asked in puzzlement.  
  
"Well...if black absorbs heat, doesn't that make your wings absorb heat? Thus, wouldn't that make you overheat?" she asked whimsically. Before he could answer she had chibified him. Van stared at his now one-foot tall brother in shock.   
  
"I've shrunk," Folken observed with interest.   
  
"What have you done to him?" Van demanded, but there was nothing to be done for Sarryn decided to chibify him as well. A very baffled and surprised chibi-Van looked around at the girl who was now a giant.  
  
"Now I have my own squishy little angel brothers," Sarryn cheered happily.   
  
"You know," Van said glancing between himself and his brother, "I'm not the shortest male anymore." Both were currently existing in the twelve in dimension of chibi fun. Giggling she grabbed them and began to hug and cuddle them like kittens.  
  
"Excuse me," the Goddess of Oblivion interrupted, black hair swirling around her body.  
  
"What is it?" Sarryn demanded testily, not wanting to divert her attention away from her newest chibi acquisitions.   
  
"Well, I was wondering if you had anymore of those collars left," the Goddess said sweetly, she fluttered her lashes coyly.   
  
"Why do you want them?" the girl inquired as she squeezed the oxygen-deprived chibis in her arms.   
  
"I was wandering around this lavender place, you really should get some interior decorators her by the way, and I happened to see Dallet and Viole taking a stroll," she answered wickedly. Sarryn raised a brow in amusement, but obliged her alter ego by creating two gold, chibifying collars.   
  
"Here you go," she said tossing them to the Goddess. The Goddess waved her thanks and floated off in search of her victims.   
  
"Chibification is EVIL! Existential Gophers, come to your master's aid!" Deus cried suddenly. A hail of Existential Gophers promptly bombarded Sarryn and her chibis.   
  
"You inept bumblebee," she cried and ran away, chibi-Fanel brothers in tow.   
  
"I'll get you for this, Sarryn!" Deus yelled, in chibi-voice, at her retreating form.   
  
  
Ze End...  
  
  
I'd like to apologize for this randomness on my part. I don't know what I was doing when I wrote this, but it was intended to be humorous and, as I mentioned above (if anyone remembers that far back), that this was a revenge against a certain someone who has been very annoying. Hint: He was chibified thanks to Chibi Collars(tm). Review if you like it or not. Thank you for putting up with my insanity.  



	2. Not More!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh dear god no! Not more chibification and the strangeness of this author! Stop (or continue) the madness! Review!  
  
On a side note, if you haven't realized this from the first part, there is no plot to this whole thing.  
  
Chibification and Other Acts of Insanity  
  
  
No sun rose in the anime void because if truth be known there was no sun there, but that's besides the point. No, it was a very sad day--or night?--because Sarryn was currently out of anime characters to chibify, well at least the ones that she actually wanted to chibify. There were many that she didn't even want to touch.   
  
And then suddenly the screams of horrified readers filled the air as they realized exactly what was being inflicted on them. The sound of pounding feet echoed throughout the world and the occasional thump as several ran into a wall in blind terror. An anonymous penguin watched all this with a blank look and then wandered away.  
  
Anyway, she had a very important dilemma at hand that really had no way to be solved. She had tried to chibify Prince Chid but nothing had happened, apparently he was permanently chibified by powers beyond her ken. Then she had accidentally chibified Merle, who turned out to be even more vicious in miniature.   
  
"Shoehorn wielding ducks, there is your target!" a voice cried behind her. She turned to see Deus with a small mob of shoehorn wielding ducks, he was still chibified.   
  
"You!" she declared standing up, behind her a squad of rabid bunnies and run-over squirrels appeared.   
  
"This is your last chance to de-chibify me, Sarryn!" he yelled as fractal bushes joined his forces. From the sidelines a group of chibi-Dragonslayers watched with interest as they ate popcorn. Dilandau was off somewhere torching something or someone.   
  
"As the Fish as my witness I won't until you join the CREAM CHEESE LIBERATION and bring sovereignty to suppressed croutons!" she answered, behind her penguins of despair, death and general chaos manifested.   
  
"I've already joined the CREAM CHEESE LIBERATION and I've never suppressed croutons in my life," he remarked dryly. Existential gophers began to rain down upon the combatants.  
  
"Oh..." she said, pausing to think for a moment, "Well, I still won't de-chibify you!" Combustible pixies came to nullify the existential gophers.  
  
"This is getting interesting," Guimel remarked to Gatti as he ate another handful of popcorn.  
  
"Did anyone bring the drinks?" Chesta asked. Everyone shrugged.  
  
"Oh, I think you will be very willing to, Sarryn. Very willing," he informed her with an evil laugh. No more creatures appeared behind him or otherwise.  
  
"I fail to see the point of this whole thing," Folken commented among the other spectator chibies.   
  
"Author insanity," Allen answered as he primped his hair.   
  
"Why is that?" Sarryn demanded suspiciously. An anonymous penguin walked by and then walked off.   
  
"I seem to have a hostage here," Deus informed her.  
  
"Oh, we have a hostage situation here!" Chesta cheered and then was smacked by Dallet who didn't want to miss anything.   
  
"Who is that?"  
  
"I'll let it speak for itself," Deus replied even more evilly.   
  
"Pi? Pikachu!"  
  
"No! How could you! No, not Pikachu!" she screamed falling to her knees. Pikachu was hog tied to wooden roasting rod.   
  
"Apparently she likes that electric rat," Miguel said as someone passed him a random iced drink.   
  
"Will you now take off this collar?" Deus asked with deadly sweetness as a fire erupted under the yellow creature.  
  
"Yes, I'll take it off, just don't harm Pikachu," she sobbed pitifully. She promptly did that and Pikachu was released unharmed. Deus returned to his normal size and disbanded his army of random creatures, Sarryn did the same.   
  
"You know, we should have a chibi hunt sometime," Deus remarked as he rubbed his now Chibi Collar(tm) neck.  
  
"How barbaric! I may chibify them, but I don't kill them," Sarryn retorted hotly.   
  
"Not kill, just de-chibify them and set them free, then we hunt them down and re-chibify them," he told her laughing.   
  
"Oooh, that sounds fun! But first I want to play with them!" she cried and then turned to the group of chibies watching them. Only to find that they had disappeared.  
  
"They're gone," Deus remarked calmly.  
  
"Oh, pooh," Sarryn pouted.   
  
An anonymous penguin paused to stare at the two authors and then went away.   
  
****  
  
Don't ask what's with the penguins, you don't want to know. Aaahhh, my esheep(tm) are watching me with their big eyes! Downloadable fun for all! Just type in keyword esheep and then you can have your own digital sheep to watch you while you try to do anything! Now review! Review! Review! Oh and I hope you thank me for this Deus!  



	3. The Hunt Is On...or Off

I have been working on this but I guess people actually like this little bit of complete random insanity. So I've decided to post another chapter of randomness to delight, or disgust, you all. Hope everyone has a sense of humor and is willing to use it, as well as at least one good finger or toe in order to REVIEW! If no one got that hint, it is REVIEW!  
  
  
Chibification and Other Acts of Insanity  
  
  
"Lock and load!" Sarryn yelled, wearing her Rambo outfit (plus a shirt because if she didn't then the fic's rating would have to be bumped up to R or NC-17 and then that wouldn't be happy). In her hand was an intricately tooled shotgun, beside her Deus and the Goddess of Oblivion possessed guns of similar make.  
  
"You sure are getting into this," Deus commented as he made sure everything was working right with his gun. Sarryn giggled and slung the chibification shotgun over her shoulder.  
  
"So what if the collar doesn't go around the character's neck? What if it brains him or her?" she asked her two companions with as much seriousness and gravity as she could, because well there wasn't that much of those two things in her. Some would say there wasn't much of anything at all, including brains, in her, but then she would viciously beat them into repentance all the while lecturing about how violence never solves anything.   
  
"It doesn't matter, silly," the Goddess chuckled as she took sight on an imaginary target, "If it only knocks them unconscious then you can put the collar on the old fashioned way."   
  
"Besides, you can't kill them here because they would just regenerate in a day or two," Deus assured her calmly. An anonymous penguin suddenly walked up to Sarryn and smacked her upside the head with a dead halibut. She massaged her aching head as she watched the penguin wander off in puzzlement.  
  
"Okay who summoned the penguin," she demanded pointing the shotgun at Deus.   
  
"It was your insanity that summoned it, not me," he cried in an attempt to defend himself. Warily she lowered the weapon and gave him a look that said she would be watching him very closely.  
  
Suddenly the goddess emitted a piercing cry that was followed by a loud explosion and a startled shriek. The two authors turned to see that the Goddess had successfully bagged Viole. The now chibi-Dragonslayer cursed and tried to run away, but the Goddess was about four feet six inches taller than him, he was only twelve inches tall, her legs were longer. Not only that but she was a Goddess so she had the right to fade and reappear behind him.   
  
"No!" the chibi-Viole cried in chibi voice as he was carried off by his not so secret admirer. Another anonymous penguin walked up and hit Sarryn with a soggy bag of two-day-old oatmeal this time. She shrieked and kicked it into the stratosphere. With a wave of her hand the gunk magically disappeared because she, who is also the author of this fic and apparently a masochist, said, or rather typed, so.   
  
Without warning an amphoteric antelope manifested, which caused Dallet to freak out. This was due to the fact that he had a rather interesting encounter with said antelope in another fic and had become emotionally scarred forever. {The author dodges stale bags of Doritos thrown by Dallet fans for above reference} Dallet ran off with the antelope in hot pursuit, the two authors, one of which was still recovering from the Doritos bombardment, watched this with mild interest.   
  
"That is wrong on so many levels," Sarryn commented dryly.   
  
"I think I have to go over there now," Deus said looking a little green.   
  
Sarryn would most like have said more, much to everyone's general distaste, if Folken hadn't wandered by. If he had known what the authors were up to he most likely wouldn't have stayed anywhere in the vicinity of the two. A dark light entered her eyes as she took aim.   
  
Much to her dismay and Deus' amusement she missed. Well it wasn't like she had had any practice with guns of any sort. The second shot flew by the oblivious Folken's head, but the third slammed into his head.   
  
"Oops," Sarryn cried as she ran over to her injured anime character. Of course his unconscious state didn't prevent her from chibifying him, but she did note that when she did he got swirly eyes and little birds danced around his head. She was personally intrigued by this phenomenon and tried to eat the birds.   
  
Behind her an anonymous penguin sneaked up and clobbered her with the unabridged Webster's Dictionary. This occurrence was watched impassively by Deus who decided, upon thinking it over, that it was lunchtime.   
  
From some random part of the galaxy a referee appeared and handed the aforementioned penguin a championship belt and held up its wing in victory. It was Sarryn's turn to have swirly eyes with Folken.   
  
****  
  
Odd ending? Yep. Strangeness beyond reason? Yep and yep. Is there a reason? Nope. Does there need to be one? Nope and nope. What should you do? REVIEW! Why? Because if you don't an anonymous penguin will materialize behind you and brain you with an unabridged copy of the Webster's Dictionary. I have one they are HUGE!  



	4. At the Movies

More randomness for all you wonderful reviewing people out there. If you don't review than how can this chapter be possible? The answer to that is it can't, so review, review, review.   
  
  
Chibification and Other Acts of Insanity  
  
  
"Revenge of the Hairbrush Stealing, Weasel Mocking, Cottage Cheese Eating Fruit Flies of Death!" blazed across the lavender sky. Sarryn stared at this for a few moments in abject confusion.   
  
"What the hell is this?" she demanded of the anime void. Silence and a few singing frogs greeted her question.   
  
Deus appeared wearing a Bill Clinton mask and said, "I'm gonna be a star in the movies!"  
  
"..."  
  
"I think the chibification has seriously messed with what was left with his mind," the Phoenix Guardian commented impassively. She took a bite from a tuna and hot lava sandwich and then offered a bite to the rest of them, wisely they refused the generous offer.  
  
"So what is this movie about?" Sarryn asked with marked apprehension.  
  
"It's about the 'Revenge of the Hairbrush Stealing, Weasel Mocking, Cottage Cheese Eating Fruit Flies of Death!' of course," he replied pretentiously, momentarily lifting the mask to give her a look that said it should have been blatantly obvious.  
  
"Okay...that was incredibly helpful. NOT!"  
  
"She does have a point, not often, but this time she does," the Goddess of Oblivion remarked sardonically as she manifested from a frilly orange cloud. How or why a cloud was frilly and orange cannot be explained but nine out of ten chiropractors have tried and failed to answer that question. The tenth went crazy and began muttering gibberish about miniature giant space hamster coming to kill us all, the poll people took that as an answer.  
  
"Come this way," Deus said and motioned them to follow him. Where they were following him when there were no landmarks of any sort, even a speck of dust, anywhere was a mystery.  
  
With a magical poof and special effect lighting, they all appeared in a classical old movie theatre. A bowl of porridge landed on Sarryn's head, apparently it had followed them somehow.   
  
"Be prepared to be wowed, awed and terrified. This show will pull at your heartstrings and have you at the edge of your seat! Let me present to you for your viewing pleasure, 'Revenge of the Hairbrush Stealing, Weasel Mocking, Cottage Cheese Eating Fruit Flies of Death!'" he announced grandly.  
  
"How about not," Sarryn whispered to the eggplant-wielding piccolo beside her.   
  
"This should be...interesting?" the Goddess asked in puzzlement and trepidation.  
  
"Gods I hope not," the Phoenix Guardian muttered. Deus gave them an admonishing look before turning down the lights.  
  
The curtain lifted...  
  
"Hey this ain't a movie!" Sarryn exclaimed in indignant outrage.   
  
"Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie!" the Goddess chanted, stressing each syllable.   
  
...and revealed the cast of Escaflowne bound and gagged wearing very...interesting clothing.   
  
****  
  
Want to know what happens? What is this thing about, why was it called a movie, how is the cast of Escaflowne involved (besides the obvious), and why are the eSheep staring at me??? {eSheep: Baaahhhhh!} If you want these questions and more answered then you'll just have to review.   
  
Also if anyone else want's to make a cameo appearance at this premier then just type in a description of everything imaginable about yourself (personality, appearance, mannerisms, psychoses, etc.) and be prepared to find yourself twisted beyond recognition because...well, that's probably what'll happen. If that does happen it's your own fault for inaccurately describing yourself!  



	5. Hamsters and a Surprise Guest

Hello all those wonderful people! Thank you, those who actually made the effort, for reviewing. And tons more thanks to the person who, as of the last time I checked the reviews, has decided to let me mangle her personality. You get two thumbs up! *gives thumbs up sign, until she realizes that she doesn't have three thumbs. Pauses to wonder where the other thumb came from...oh it's her toe...how did that get there?* Anyway, there still more space at the theatre for those brave enough to risk showing up. Ticket prices will vary. REVIEW yours today!  
  
{Sarryn and Co. is not responsible for any emotional damage that may occur due to a discrepancy that may occur due to a paucity of information on any individual who wants to come. Personalities can and most likely will be twisted to fit the story line. Be warned}  
  
  
Chibification and Other Acts of Insanity:  
  
The Revenge of the Hairbrush Stealing, Weasel Mocking, Cottage Cheese Eating Fruit Flies of Death!  
  
  
Deus pulled the cord again and the curtain closed. From behind the thick fabric a rather interesting range of profanity was being tested for effectiveness, none were particularly effective on the small audience.   
  
"I still say this ain't no movie," Sarryn pouted, crossing her arms petulantly. Deus rolled his eyes and went backstage to prepare the actors for the show, whatever it was.  
  
Before the Goddess of Oblivion could begin chanting, "Movie! Movie!...etc," the Phoenix Guardian covered her mouth with a gloved hand. If anyone is particularly interested in what happened next the author will now tell you: it was a deity fight, you know catfight except with deities.   
  
"Stop fighting you two!" Sarryn yelled dragging her alter egos apart.   
  
"Two? We are you, you know," the Goddess informed her primly looking like she had just been to an expensive salon.   
  
"That's right," the Phoenix Guardian continued slyly, "So we're you and you're us then you're just fighting with yourself."  
  
"You need help, girl," the Goddess said with mock severity. Sarryn stuck out her tongue at the two and a pound of freshly baked, breaded cod fell on their heads followed by a gallon of tartar sauce because you can't have breaded cod without it. If you did it would be plain barbaric...of course Ketchup is an acceptable substitute, but not as good as tartar.   
  
"Just up. I created you and just like that I could un-create you!" she growled as a few drops of tartar sauce splashed across her shoes. With a wave of her hand her black boots were clean again because she was all-powerful in the anime void, even if anonymous penguins kept assaulting her with random weapons. Speaking of penguins...  
  
"Ow!" she yelled as said penguins fell from the ceiling and bounced twice on her head while doing the tango.  
  
"Oh Sarryn," the Goddess said sweetly, sharing a devious glance with the Phoenix Guardian.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Hamsters..." the Phoenix Guardian informed her imperiously.   
  
"Cindy?" Sarryn gasped, eyes beginning to tear up.  
  
"Don't..." the Goddess continued evilly.   
  
"Cindy!"  
  
"BOUNCE!!!" the Phoenix Guardian finished triumphantly.  
  
"No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!!" Sarryn cried bursting into a flood of tears. "I was only four! I didn't know that hamsters don't bounce!" The two alter egos burst out laughing and continued for some time, but we'll ignore them because something more interesting happened.  
  
"Is this where the party is?" a chipper voice asked cutting through the babel (that is how this word is spelled, look it up in the unabridged Webster's Dictionary which is a very, very large book) that was Sarryn and her bickering alter egos. They looked around but saw nothing, well since Sarryn was mostly a little salt-water puddle on the floor she had to solidify before she could do any looking around.  
  
"Is that...god?" Sarryn asked tentatively.  
  
"Oh, I guess my voice came before my body," the disembodied voice explained with chagrin. With a delayed flash of otherwise amazing pyrotechnics a girl with reddish brown hair appeared.   
  
"Who are you?" Sarryn asked in puzzlement. "And how did you get here?"  
  
"I'm known as Liz and I heard of this place and decided to join the fun," the stranger replied cheerfully.  
  
"Will you guys shut up down there?" Deus' voice demanded from backstage.  
  
Liz looked at the stage with burgundy eyes and then back at Sarryn and her companions, "This isn't a movie."  
  
Sarryn and the Phoenix Guardian clamped their hands over the Goddess' mouth before she could say anything.  
  
"Get over it already!" Deus yelled as he reappeared in one of the front row seats. Liz stuck her tongue out at him and settled back in her seat, a stereotypical gray, bug-eyed alien passed a random bag of blue popcorn to her. Wisely she decided not to take it, Sarryn, on the other hand, wasn't so wise and promptly began to pig out.   
  
"Are you all ready?" Deus asked holding the cord that controlled the curtains. "Who is she?"  
  
"She decided to brave the insanity and watch the show," Sarryn replied eating more popcorn.  
  
"Is she growing antennae?" Liz asked the lactose intolerant, pygmy, albino elephant next to her. It shrugged and turned into a beautiful, relatively, butterfly and flew into the theatre lights. Nothing could be done for it and each of its two billion children received some pretty good stuff from its will.   
  
The curtain raised and there stood a rather offended looking Prince Chid of the Duchy of Freid. He cleared his throat and adjusted the miniature scimitar hanging from his belt.  
  
"Welcome esteemed audience to the Escaflowne rendition of 'The Revenge of the Hairbrush Stealing, Weasel Mocking, Cottage Cheese Eating Fruit Flies of Death!' We ask that no flash photography be used in case it drives certain members insane," he said blandly. He gave a little bow and fled from the spotlight.   
  
"Interesting...VERY interesting," Liz muttered holding something in her hand.  
  
The lights on stage went up to reveal a very startled looking anonymous penguin finishing urinating on a fake fern. It blushed and waddled away.   
  
Anyway, there was a several minute delay because cleanup had to be called and consulted on the best way to remove penguin urine from fake ferns.   
  
The Goddess and had somehow convinced Liz to join in on the "Movie! Movie!...etc" chant, Sarryn was staring blankly at nothing, nothing unusual there, and the Phoenix Guardian was arguing with a celery stick about the unfairness of Medicare. Deus smacked himself on the forehead and motioned for the actors to begin.  
  
****  
  
The answer to all your questions is that if you don't known the answer then I'm not telling you! Please REVIEW lots and the un-movie will continue {Sarryn smacks the Goddess who decides to do the chant} and we'll finally get somewhere. Thanks to for the one description from one person and don't worry next chapter you'll have more lines. Anyone else who wants to come and watch, all you have to do is REVIEW and type about yourself so I don't horrible maim your personality.  



	6. More People Yay!

Moo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! The pointless movie of pointlessness is still going on, but for how long before everything explodes? REVIEW and join if you want. Disclaimer!  
  
  
  
Chibification and Other Acts of Insanity:  
  
The Hairbrush Stealing, Weasel Mocking, Cottage Cheese Eating Fruit Flies of Death!  
  
  
  
Thirty Minutes into the Play/Movie  
  
  
{"I still don't think it's a movie, ya know," Liz remarked.  
  
"Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Etc.!" the Goddess chanted.  
  
"Will you all shut up?" Deus screamed flooding the audience with pink paint.}  
  
Now the story:  
  
A brilliant flash lit up the stage, not from the lights, nor from the blue popcorn Sarryn had been eating, and yes she now had a pair of moth-like antennae on her head. The flash originated from a certain camera held by a certain guest who had decided to drop by. As warned against by Chid photography had the tendency to drive several characters crazy, and one of those characters was on stage when it happened.  
  
"VA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-AN!!!!" If you can't guess who that is then I feel very sorry for you.   
  
"Oopsie, guess the announcer kid was right," Liz remarked with a maniacal giggle. Dilandau sporting yards and yards of sparkly green taffeta pulled out a long sword from someplace and leapt across the stage. The reason for the getup was that that was his costume and he had to wear it or face electric shock therapy. He would have chosen electric shock therapy but Sarryn and Liz had convinced him that it wasn't as fun as it sounded.  
  
"Finally, something interesting is happening!" Sarryn cheered, antennae waving frantically.   
  
Van was currently in the middle of a monologue that consisted of ranting against the injustice of mocking weasels, or at least that's what it seemed like. None of the audience could find any sort of plot anywhere.   
  
"Van! Behind you!" Hitomi screamed from offstage before being covered in a burlap bag by the Dragonslayers who didn't want her to give the King of Fanelia any warning. They locked her in a small costume case.   
  
A fight scene reminiscent of episode 5 began, except for the fact that both were wearing lots of sparkly green taffeta. During this Princess Millerna walked out wearing something that could only be described as pink. She took one look at the fight, and costumes, and fainted dead away.   
  
"Yeah! Down with the annoying blonde one!" Liz cheered jumping up onto the stage. The Goddess began to chant her little thing, but since you all should already no what it is it won't be repeated. Sarryn grabbed a can of Eazy Cheeze and began to make beautiful Picas counterfeits on the walls, well beautiful according to her. The Phoenix Guardian shook her head and disappeared with a snort of disgust.  
  
"Wow!" a new voice exclaimed as a girl dropped on top of Millerna who was still out.   
  
"Let me guess, you're someone who heard about what was happening and decided to drop by?" Deus inquired dryly, having long since given up on the movie. He was still wearing the mask for some odd reason that has as yet to be explained.   
  
"Not really, I was looking for the bathroom and got lost," the girl replied breezily. "You can call me the greatest, most fabulous person in the universe."  
  
"You may be that but I'm god!" Sarryn commented walking up a wall.  
  
"Fine, then call me marigold," marigold pouted.   
  
"Dilly! Be careful!" Liz cried as she grabbed a handful of green material that was connected to Van.   
  
"So what's going on?"  
  
"Right now I have no idea," Deus replied finally taking of his mask. By this time Sarryn was on the ceiling trying to recreate the Sistine Chapel paintings, but Eazy Cheeze wasn't the most efficient or effective medium to work with. Liz had discarded Van's costume and was running off the stage holding a very upset Dilandau over one shoulder.   
  
"'To be a fruit fly, or to be a pear, there is something about both that leaves me...'" Folken said coming onto the stage, he paused upon seeing the chaos and took note of everything in his calm and emotionless way. "Van you aren't following your stage cues and what is that girl doing carrying of Dilandau? This isn't an efficient way to perform a theatrical demonstration." He was wearing all black, with a lovely matching black cape with red lining.   
  
"Angle dude of hotness!" Sarryn shrieked and bounced off the wall, literally. "Will you marry me?"  
  
"How old are you?" he asked.  
  
"Doesn't matter!" she yelled and dragged him off stage, not letting him raise any protests. Hitomi pounded on her little costume trunk prison and Van debated whether he really wanted to let her out.  
  
"This has gone to hell," Deus commented wryly, settling back to watch the chaos.  
  
"Princess Millerna! Are you okay?" Allen demanded finally rushing onstage, he had been delayed by a hair crisis. He was wearing a lovely weasel costume covered in cottage cheese product.   
  
"There is no way she's getting him!" marigold declared jumping up from her seat and rushing onstage. Before Allen knew what she was about she had dragged him into the seats and had tied to a chair. He sat there with a bewildered look on his face and a very happy marigold on his lap.   
  
Despite the fact that several actors were now missing (locked in a trunk, dragged to a church, dragged off for god knows what reason, and tied to a chair) the play/movie finally got underway for the second time.  
  
"'I mock thee weasels...' uh..." Gatti said coming onstage wearing something fly-esque, he paused when there was no weasel about (Allen, who had been playing the weasel, was tied to a chair).   
  
An anonymous penguin walked up and Gatti made a nice recovery, "'I mock thee [penguin] for thou art mockable and I shall exercise my right of mockage.'"   
  
"..." replied the anonymous penguin, hey they can't talk ya know.  
  
"How can you like that blond ditz?" marigold demanded of Allen, "I'm mean she is so superficial, now me I don't have to give up my country."  
  
A terrified wail sounded from somewhere inside the theatre, it sounded suspiciously like Dilandau. The play/movie continued with the anonymous penguin substituting for the weasel.  
  
****  
  
Randomly, wonderfully strange. Please everyone review and this un-movie is nearing its...conclusion, I guess, so please send in your entries now.  



	7. The End of All Existence! or not...

Moohoohoohoo! Yes the finale of the movie! Where has everyone gone? Why haven't I updated in like a year? Ha! As if I'd answer that! Review and I might. Ooooohhhhhhhhh! For all of you who don't get it REVIEW. I sincerely hope I don't have to beat you over the head with that. *shrugs and does so anyways before falling into a fit of maniacal* I'm beginning to think that my mini intros are more interesting than my stories…oh well.

Chibification and Other Acts of Insanity

The Conclusion to: The Hairbrush Stealing, Weasel Mocking, Cottage Cheese Eating Fruit Flies of Death!

The actors, of which the number had dwindled considerably, bowed and the whole place exploded. A nonplussed Sarryn sat eating some random furry animal that happened to wander by much to the disgust of Deus who called her Jabba the Hut and was then smacked silly.

"That was…interesting," Liz commented wryly. "I have to go. Maybe I'll visit some other time." She wandered off muttering something about losing her precious Dilly to a rather enflamed Phoenix Guardian and had barely managed to survive un-burnt. 

"Can I borrow Folken?" marigold asked, batting eyes cutely.

"No," Sarryn declared firmly as she huggled {it's a verb now!} her favorite angel.

"Please?"

"No!"

"You're no fun." The two guests left, perhaps they shall return? Who knows? Only they…

Anyways the actors had been randomly scattered throughout the lavender anime void and Deus had managed to make a tidy profit from the whole thing. How or where he got any money shall remain a mystery because Sarryn sure as hell wouldn't pay to see something like that.

"Guess what," he declared appearing beside her. She screamed horrible before flailing around wildly and running around in small circles. Much like a certain hamster that shall remain nameless, but suffice it to say it didn't bounce. {Sarryn collapses into a sobbing puddle of mush whimpering that she didn't know they didn't bounce}

"Wow, I should do that more often." He watched her flail around for a while and was then struck by a Diablo 2 CD and fell over dead. Hey better dead than chibified…or red…

Sarryn looked at him in surprise and watched the guilty penguin walk off. Obviously it hadn't liked its part in the play/movie.

"Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie!" the Goddess of Oblivion screamed, appearing out of a pink cloud of cotton candy. Sarryn stared at all the words and fell over and died.

"Now you did it," the Phoenix guardian muttered before resurrecting their alter ego, they left Deus dead because they could. Sarryn glanced around, seeing no more intimidating words, and screamed one polysyllabic word.

"PIKACHU!" The aforementioned creature paled horrible and began to flee for its life. The dead body of Deus shuddered and his skeleton pulled itself free.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm skin and bones! Wait…no, I'm boooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss!" He fainted dead away, which is redundant because he is dead and a skeleton…and…and…and…

End of this Chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ha, random randomness! Yes I have killed Deus, but he's not really dead now is he? If anyone wants to make a guest appearance review your description, but refer to the warnings and guidelines of the previous two chapters. So to the rest of you not brave enough to suffer my personality mangling: REVIEW.


	8. The Beginning of the World Conflict: Sav...

I am back {…cricket…cricket…} and have more wonderful insanity for you all. If this makes you go crazy…well then good for you. We need more in this world. So review and review some more because those make me happy. Also review if you want me to go completely nuts and write another chapter. Ooohhh the terror!

…and…and…and…and…{major smackage happens}

Anyways Deus is dead, but alive…and…and…and…and…{Smackage again} Sarryn has discovered the joys of a Swiffer sweeper. All shall fear!

Dalet runs by, followed by a very amphoteric amphoteric antelope. Suffice it to say he wasn't a happy camper, not that he was a camper {light bulb appears above author's head}, but the antelope was simply having the time of his life. Sarryn shrieked and decided to change verb tenses for no purpose or reason. 

From the depths of deep space there came a horrible cry followed closely by an antelope…no…wait…it was a brilliant flash of light. Great swirling black clouds began to cover the lavender sky of the anime void. Many anime characters cowered in fear.

"Lookey, dirty cotton candy!" Sarryn cried jumping up and down excitedly. The Goddess of Oblivion casually smacked her upside the head while the Phoenix Guardian snuggled closer to a chibi-Dilandau. 

"I think this is something far more serious," the Goddess said seriously. 

"It looks…evil," the Guardian murmured. 

"Can we eat it?"

"No!"

"You're no fun." Sarryn was promptly pounded into the ground by her annoyed alter egos. Deus ran by being chased by a pack of dogs. He screamed and crashed into Folken. Sarryn, momentarily distracted by the appearance of said anime character, pealed her pounded form from the ground and ran towards the tangle of limbs and bones. 

Suddenly a large plastic bolt of lightning, with the word "ZAP!!!" printed on the side, burst from the black clouds and zapped the girl. The girl paused mid leap and puffed out a few smoke rings.

"What the…?" 

An evil, sinister, pernicious, pugnacious, malicious, loathsome, etc., voice ripped through the peaceful, except when Sarryn and her cronies were present, land. A face appeared in the swirling mass of clouds. 

"I am the Evil One and I shall make this realm my own." The face fell into another fit of evil laughter.

"This is my playground, get your own!" Sarryn yelled waving a fist in the air. Deus, meanwhile, was attempting to put his bones in the right order with the help of Folken. 

"I think not, insignificant one. I like this one just fine. I shall enslave the denizens and rule with an iron fist."

"And iron fist?" Sarryn demanded in outrage, completely forgetting that he had insulted her…or perhaps not realizing it. "Can I eat it?"

*****

What will become of the lavender anime void? Will Sarryn (that's me!) be able to overcome her own confusion and insanity long enough to put up a defense of any kind? Will Deus be allowed to be alive? Does anyone want to join the crusade to stop the Evil One? Review and tell all. Review and say what you think. Hell, review and I'll send you a telepathic cookie. 


	9. The Beginning of the army of Insanity!! ...

Hi. I'm very *sniff* disappointed. Only two reviews and only one person wanted to fight the evil Evil One. *sniff* No one loves me!!! Anyways please review. 

To TigerCat:1 telepathic cookie §}zap{§ (: :) I think it's chocolate chip.

To Digi-Riven:1 telepathic cookie §}zap{§ [::] I think it's shortbread.

To Cynthia:1 chibi collar. Good for one use.

Chibification and Other Acts of Insanity

"Dues…I don't think you'll be much good dead," Sarryn declared pointing at the petulant skeleton with a nametag that said 'Deus' pinned to a rib. She issued her trademark evil cackle/giggle that all who heard feared and could only describe as evil turned into a wavelength. Deus shuddered and felt his apprehension rising.

"Maybe I'd be better off with homicidal cloud," he muttered, which was a feat considering he had no internal organs and therefore no lungs or voice box. 

The Evil One in the meantime had decided to begin his recruiting. So far he had recruited Dornkirk and King Aston along with their armies. Allen and Malerna were torn because they didn't want to support someone who decided to name himself the 'Evil One', but they also didn't want to go against their country. He tried to recruit the Dragonslayers and Dilandau, but the Phoenix Guardian and the Goddess of Oblivion had stopped them…by tying them up and stuffing them in a hurricane shelter. 

Meanwhile Sarryn was trying out various forms on Deus. After various combinations of animals and humans she finally settled on a mixture between his original body and that of an antelope. 

Then she saw something out of the corner of her eye. Without thinking she launched herself at the figure screaming one name: "Xelloss-bunny!"

"What the…!?" a definitely female voice cried out as Sarryn glomped her. 

"Xelloss, what happened to your voice?" a perplexed Sarryn asked climbing off.

"I'm not Xelloss. They call me Digi-Riven, Riven for short."

"But…but…the hair…and…and…" The rest was lost in a deluge of tears. "I want…Xelloss."

"I want my body back," Deus muttered as he trotted by. 

"Is this the place to sign up to fight the Evil One of evilness?" Riven asked of the antelope-boy. 

"Yeah, talk to the puddle over there." He pointed a hoof at Sarryn. Riven brushed back a lock of blue-streaked purple hair and grinned.

"That's the great leader?"

"Unfortunately."

So another ally of insanity joined the ranks to combat the Evil One. Riven signed her name on the sign up sheet and was promptly handed a gagged Van.

"What's this…not that I'm complaining or anything."

"A free character with every sign up," the desk-penguin chirped before waddling off.

"That's to make sure you work for our side. I mean who wants to be with a bunch of old men," Sarryn replied as she huggled Folken. "I still want my Xelloss-bunny."

"I may have a Zegladis-bunny somewhere," Riven quipped. Then she noticed how starry-eyed the other girl became and slowly backed away. "We'll talk after we dispose of the Evil One." Deus wandered by, muttering about the injustice of it all. 

****

Anyone else want to join? I'm giving out free characters to huggle. If you don't, on the other hand, then please review. I know you're reading this/have read this. The only kind thing to do is review and then I'll give you a telepathic cookie. Let the Insanity live on!!!


End file.
